I have written a few “comedy” sketch type scripts which were inspired by real life situations on my bus adventures and would, in my mind, make up an entire episode/series called “The Bus”
In my head the plot is centred around a person who hates travelling by bus and hates everyone else travelling by bus. There’s a bit of surrealism and talking to “the camera” involved….oh and also a lot of swearing and vulgarity so if you are easily offended then don’t read. Otherwise I look forward to your comments (or your unfollows)…
THE BUS – The Bus Shelter 1
People are standing at a bus stop in a small country town on a very cold frosty morning. DOREEN (older lady works as Dinner Lady slightly hunched over with big hair). NICK (young, good looking man, dressed smart). They are not talking but comfortable in each others presence. WOMAN (early 30’s, smartly dressed) is also there with BOY (toddler, cute) who is playing with a toy car. SIMON approaches (plain young man, shelf stacker, a little bit simple perhaps)
(overly cheery for so early in the morning)
NICK does not reply and he just rolls his eyes showing his contempt for SIMON
(Too excitedly for the topic)
It’s not nice this morning. Apparently, we are to get some severe weather.
NICK turns his head away
Oh. My. God.
Who the hell says that? Who says severe weather? Television weather presenters, that’s who. John Kettley, Sian Lloyd, Michael Fish – although he didn’t that was the problem, even pre Gladiators Ulrika Johnson, she would have said that. Is he any of them? No!
NICK looks to where SIMON was standing and he is now in front of one glass panel side of bus shelter which has a picture of the map of the UK on it. He is now dressed smartly in a suit and is adding and moving little clouds and little suns to the map.
NICK pulls SIMON back into the reality of the bus stop
You are NOT a weatherman. Just say. It looks like. We’re in for a shitty day. Like a normal person.
NICK and SIMON go back to where they were.
(In response to original comment)
Oh? Fucking Oh? Hello. Is she not at the same bus stop as us?
NICK looks back to where DOREEN was and sees her now in a sun drenched bus stop wearing a bikini, big sunglasses, cocktail in hand and saggy skin everywhere soaking up the sun on the bench.
NICK takes DOREEN by the hand and leads her back to the reality of the bus stop.
Look, you know fine well you’ve changed your calendar to winter….You realised why you had to wear your old lady cold weather gear this morning….
NICK starts re-dressing DOREEN in the big winter jacket she was wearing previously.
Dont say…Oh? Never say…. oh? It just encourages the twat….ok?
NICK and DOREEN go back to where they were.
DOREEN has a look of sudden realisation.
Oops, I’ve got a letter in my bag I need to post.
DOREEN is seen standing next to her bag which is now almost as big as her. She starts to climb in until only her flapping legs can be seen at the top.
(Distant and echoey)
It’s…. In…Here….Some…Where……oh that’s where they went. Mmmm.
DOREEN can be heard chewing on something.
Ahhhh, I’m falling….
NICK rushes over and grabs DOREEN by the ankles and starts pulling her out the bag.
Honestly, why do little old ladies have such big bags?
DOREEN is now safely back on the ground and is holding a letter which is smaller than her hand.
Got it! Better be quick.
DOREEN starts to make her way to the post box on the other side of the road. NICK watches her go.
Seriously, why is she bothering to run? The classic old person run. Why do they do it? They’d get places much faster without doing it. And less likely to fall and get knocked over by a car too.
DOREEN is now seen doing star jumps all the way cross the road and back again
Mind you, with that barnet, any vehicle knocking into her would be bounced more than a kid on Jim’ll Fix It’s knee. Surely that’s at least a can of Silvikrin hairspray a day…
NICK grabs the BOY’s toy car fom him and launches it at DOREEN’s head. The car bounces off her hair without making an impression and the car shoots off into the distance.
Mummy, that man stole my car
NICK to BOY
Well. It’s a good job you’re getting the bus then…isn’t it?
This is the first time I have taken part in this challenge. I love these types of challenges as it gives me a chance to look through all my old photos and reminisce and such.
This week’s Phoneography Challenge is the photographer’s choice and my choice this week is architecture photography.
It was taken when we were in Paris. Yes, I am the master of stating the obvious. I can’t exactly remember what the front monument is and I will google it later but when I saw it I just thought it would be a great picture to capture the Eiffel Tower through the centre of it.
It would have been better without the annoying photographers in it haha. I might edit them out one day – if anyone knows quick, easy software to do this I would appreciate some help.
I hope you like it and I appreciate any comments.
This is a song I wrote which my friend put music to and sang. She also got her friends together and actually took it one step further and put beats and stuff to it. I really liked the end result and started making a video to go with it…
I had grand ideas for the video which involved me and Greg climbing up a hill to a rundown old barn, holding up chalkboards with televisions drawn on them and moving/dancing around the barn.
How does he put up with my crazy ideas you might well ask!
I got the footage I wanted but when it came to editing it I just wasn’t happy with it so that’s safely stored away in a folder and I simplified the video to what you see here. The inspiration for the song came from one of my managers I had in a previous job who shall remain nameless :)
It is very amateur but it is what it is and I had lots of fun with it.
One day I might use the scrapped footage so be afraid, be very afraid…
The language of the future: what will it be like? Write an experimental post using some imagined vocabulary — abbreviations, slang, new terms.
Here is my take on this, see if you can crack the code:
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Thanks to the Daily Prompt and I welcome comments.
Since I have been posting some of my videos over the past few days and I am apparently a creature of habit (Greg says), I thought I might as well post another one today.
I’ve been “making videos” pretty much since I discovered how to do it about 10 years ago. Footprints, Hallelujah is one of the first I ever made and spent hours editing. I was so pleased with the result and discovered I’d found a new hobby. What I didn’t realise is that I would lose days on end to this new hobby…
A bit of background on the inspiration for the video as I think that gives a greater sense of appreciation of “art” – I really should stop doing the quotes thing, I’m even doing it with my hands. At the time one of my most listened to songs was Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright. I didn’t really like it at first but it really grew on me. I can’t remember why I decided to make the video but when I did I wanted to marry it up with my favourite poem Footprints.
So, I thought how can I get the words on screen as well, bearing in mind this was long before all the lyric videos we see on YouTube today. Then it came to me – Star Wars! I hate Star Wars but I always liked the intro…in a galaxy far, far away or something. It then took me a long time to find a clip of video to use for the piano – I was still quite new to googling and borrowing other peoples stuff :) and it took even longer to put all the words and music together. I’m pretty sure I was late for work the next day…
I’m really proud of the finished article. I wouldn’t say I’m really religious or anything but I believe in something and I believe in all the words in the video and from the song. So, I hope you like it and please comment letting me know what you think. If you can’t do listening and reading at the same time don’t watch. Some might interpret that as if you are a man don’t watch but I’m a man and I can multitask so there is hope, a new hope…arghh back to Star Wars….anyway here it is….Hallelujah Footprints, Hallelujah. Enjoy!
Whenever we want to celebrate, be it for a birthday, special occasion or new job, there is always a similar plan of action and it always starts in the same restaurant. It’s our favourite restaurant called Yorokobi which is a Japanese/Korean place. It’s just the best – the food is amazing, the service is brilliant and it’s reasonably priced. I always get the same thing every time we go because I’m scared that I might not enjoy if I experiment with a different option although I’m pretty sure it would just as good!
What do I have? Well, it starts with a bottle of Pinot Grigio obviously (would you like to taste it? No thanks, just get it poured) and then for my starters I have:
Chicken Gyoza – deep fried Japanese style dumplings
Miso Soup – Tofu, spring onions, seaweed in yellow bean paste kasobush soup
Kim – grilled salted seaweed
It might sound like a lot but trust me, it’s gone in no time.
For my main I have:
Je-yook bokeum – Marinated pork belly in red chilli paste sauce with spring onion, onion and ginger in a sizzler plate with boiled rice.
It’s the best thing ever. If you like your food a bit hot and spicy then this is for you. If not, get someone else to order it and just try a little. I don’t find it too spicy but then I guess the wine does have the cooling effect.
The only downside about Yorokobi is the lack of dessert choices. They do, however, make up for it by making the best cheesecake I have ever tasted! The green tea or red bean ice cream do sound like something you wouldn’t think would be nice but they are actually pretty good. Desserts are usually accompanied by a Bailey’s coffee and a glass of port. As I said, it’s very reasonably priced and all of the above for two people will normally come to about £70.
You would think after that we wouldn’t be able to move but the night could now go one of two ways.
If we want a fairly chilled out evening with the chance of winning some money then we go to Soul casino. It’s a converted church but praying for a win never seems to work….I always allow myself a limit of how much money I will spend and once it’s gone, well, it’s gone. I like to gamble but I’m not an idiot. I usually play roulette and always use 29 as my base number, surrounding it with chips. Occasionally it’s came up and I’ve walked away in profit. I sometimes play blackjack but I get bored too quickly and end up putting all my chips on one hand, hoping to double my money quicker – I don’t recommend that. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose but we always have a good time at the casino. Once, me and a friend got thrown out for dancing to the “Muzak” but that’s a different story….
If we want to have a “dancing” night then we go to a club called “Upstairs @ O’Neill’s” which is basically a small club above an Irish Bar. It was always a favourite when I was at University as it would play Indie music and had a really good atmosphere. Not much has changed, although they now have air conditioning – in the old days I swear that sweat used to drip from the ceiling. They still play the same music, I still get just as drunk and dance just as bad but more importantly…
I still have FUN.
That’s how we celebrate. If you ever get the chance to go to any of these places you should.
“You receive some wonderful, improbable, hoped-for good news. How do you celebrate?”
To see previous responses look at the archives or click on Daily Prompt in the category cloud on this page
I love my Bang & Olufsen earphones.
I have a few Bang & Olufsen audio products – BeoSound One, BeoSound Century and BeoPlay A3. I’ve recently sold my Century and got the BeoPlay A8 – it’s amazing. I used to work for the company and that’s when my passion started. The main reason I have chosen the A8 earphones as my favourite is probably because it was my very first purchase as it’s all I could afford at that time and I would say they’ve been the most used.
I find them the most comfortable earphones I have ever worn. You forget you are wearing them most of the time and because they hook over your ear there’s no chance of them falling off when you exercise (so I’ve been told). Big ears or small ears, it doesn’t matter as they adjust for all ear types.
My set recently had an unfortunate incident involving my cat and I had to use Apple ones until I got a new set. They were ok, don’t get me wrong, but after an hour or so they started hurting my ears and the sound was poorer than what I am used to.
They come in all sorts of funky colours these days but I still love the original black colour. You get a neat little leather pouch to store them in but I have no need for that and they alone fetch around £30 on eBay.
Granted, they do cost that little bit extra but one of my friends has gone through several sets of less costly earphones and has probably ended up paying more in the grand scheme of things.
If you do decide to invest in a pair then make sure you avoid the cheap, fake ones on eBay.
Note: The photo is not of me – that’s a lady
As I mentioned in a previous post Here’s A Litte Song I Wrote… I’ve written a few lyrics and one of my friends has very kindly put them to music. I wrote one called “Beside Me” and once I heard her demo of it I wanted to make a video to go along with it even though she only sang one verse – I just loved it.
Unlike the video for my previous “song”, I actually wanted to film something myself rather than beg, steal and borrow other people’s footage. At that time I was still in the Time Lapse video zone – it’s just to the right of the Twilight Zone, you can’t miss it – lots of people moving really fast and if you’re really lucky you can see fruit decaying in seconds. I wanted to make a time lapse video to accompany the song and I thought it would be a cool idea if I just sat down still and have the world move around me. I’d seen some guy do it on youtube. Do I ever have original ideas?
I decided on the location – Torry Battery and luckily it was a pleasant evening with nice colourful skies. However, it was also quite a chilly evening so I made sure I was wrapped up warm as I estimated that for a 2 minute video I would need to be sitting down for at least 10 years or something, maths is not one of my “talents”.
I had my glamorous assistant, well Greg, who was to start the filming. I made quadruple sure he knew exactly which buttons to press because if I discovered after sitting down for that length of time and he hadn’t hit record then there would be more Battery than Torry!
I had chosen the perfect location for where I wanted to sit but getting up to it was an afterthought so after climbing through bushes, avoiding death pits, ignoring passers by who must have thought I was mad and making sure Greg didn’t move the camera I was all set.
The sitting began……at first it was ok but I soon realised I could not be 100% still the whole time as (a) my butt cheeks were getting numb and (b) I had to make sure no one was going to try and pull me over the wall. The second point was highly unlikely as it was about a 20 metre drop behind me (did I mention that?)
I sat and I sat, Greg moaned but I sat some more…some dodgy looking people were wandering about (I also didn’t mention this was a possible junkie hotspot – brave or stupid, brave or stupid, I suffer for my art. But no, the possibility of a junkie meeting ended the sitting and I safely got back to get the footage.
When editing the video I had to reverse it as it would have been dark at the end and I didn’t want that, so, here it is – Beside Me.
One day I hope to have the entire song recorded…