If Video Killed The Radio Star Then Who Killed The Television Star?

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What is really being abandoned here?

Is it the television set?

Is it set television?

This post was part of the weekly photo challenge hosted by http://dailypost.wordpress.com with the theme Abandoned.

“For this week’s photo challenge, show us abandoned. You can go literal and share a photo of ruins, a desolate place, or your idea of a wasteland. Or you can interpret it in other ways, from images of overlooked things to forgotten ” Cheri, Daily Post

To see previous entries please look at the archives or click on Weekly Photo Challenge in the category cloud on this page.

Daily Post - Weekly Photo Challenge

Daily Post – Weekly Photo Challenge

The Quickest Way To The Twilight Zone Is By Bus…

All aboard…

Waiting for my bus at the local bus stop is sometimes like being in the Twilight Zone. So very like it in fact that I made an attempt at writing a script…

In my head the plot is centred around a person who hates travelling by bus and hates everyone else travelling by bus. There’s a bit of surrealism and talking to “the camera” involved….oh and also a lot of swearing and vulgarity so if you are easily offended then don’t read. Otherwise I look forward to your comments (or your unfollows)…

THE BUS – The Bus Shelter 1

People are standing at a bus stop in a small country town on a very cold frosty morning. DOREEN (older lady works as Dinner Lady slightly hunched over with big hair). NICK (young, good-looking man, dressed smart). They are not talking but comfortable in each others presence. WOMAN (early 30′s, smartly dressed) is also there with BOY (toddler, cute) who is playing with a toy car. SIMON approaches (plain young man, shelf stacker, a little bit simple perhaps)

SIMON
(overly cheery for so early in the morning)
Morning

DOREEN
Morning

NICK does not reply and he just rolls his eyes showing his contempt for SIMON

SIMON
(Too excitedly for the topic)
It’s not nice this morning. Apparently, we are to get some severe weather.

NICK turns his head away
(To camera)
Oh. My. God.

NICK
(To camera)

This is the weather…

Who the hell says that? Who says severe weather? Television weather presenters, that’s who. John Kettley, Sian Lloyd, Michael Fish – although he didn’t that was the problem, even pre Gladiators Ulrika Johnson, she would have said that. Is he any of them? No!

NICK looks to where SIMON was standing and he is now in front of one glass panel side of bus shelter which has a picture of the map of the UK on it. He is now dressed smartly in a suit and is adding and moving little clouds and little suns to the map.

NICK pulls SIMON back into the reality of the bus stop

NICK
You are NOT a weatherman. Just say. It looks like. We’re in for a shitty day. Like a normal person.

NICK and SIMON go back to where they were.

DOREEN
(In response to original comment)
Oh?

NICK
(To camera)
Oh? Fucking Oh? Hello. Is she not at the same bus stop as us?

What do you mean it’s not sunny…

NICK looks back to where DOREEN was and sees her now in a sun-drenched bus stop wearing a bikini, big sunglasses, cocktail in hand and saggy skin everywhere soaking up the sun on the bench.

NICK takes DOREEN by the hand and leads her back to the reality of the bus stop.

NICK
(To DOREEN)
Look, you know fine well you’ve changed your calendar to winter….You realised why you had to wear your old lady cold weather gear this morning….

NICK starts re-dressing DOREEN in the big winter jacket she was wearing previously.

NICK
Dont say…Oh? Never say…. oh? It just encourages the twat….ok?

NICK and DOREEN go back to where they were.

DOREEN has a look of sudden realisation.

DOREEN
Oops, I’ve got a letter in my bag I need to post.

DOREEN is seen standing next to her bag which is now almost as big as her. She starts to climb in until only her flapping legs can be seen at the top.

DOREEN
(Distant and echoey)
It’s…. In…Here….Some…Where……oh that’s where they went. Mmmm.

DOREEN can be heard chewing on something.

DOREEN
(Panicking)
Ahhhh, I’m falling….

NICK rushes over and grabs DOREEN by the ankles and starts pulling her out the bag.

NICK
(To camera)
Honestly, why do little old ladies have such big bags?

DOREEN is now safely back on the ground and is holding a letter which is smaller than her hand.

DOREEN
(Satisfied)
Got it! Better be quick.

DOREEN starts to make her way to the post box on the other side of the road. NICK watches her go.

NICK
(To camera)

Wait for the green man grandma…

Seriously, why is she bothering to run? The classic old person run. Why do they do it? They’d get places much faster without doing it. And less likely to fall and get knocked over by a car too.

NICK
(to camera)

Little old lady, big massive hair…

Mind you, with that hairdo, any vehicle knocking into her would be bounced off into next week. Surely that’s at least a can of Elenett hairspray a day…

NICK grabs the BOY’s toy car from him and launches it at DOREEN’s head. The car bounces off her hair without making an impression and the car shoots off into the distance.

NICK
(Smugly)
Seeeee?

BOY
(Crying)
Mummy, that man stole my car

NICK to BOY
(patronising)
Well. It’s a good job you’re getting the bus then…isn’t it?

This was posted in response to the Daily Prompt hosted by http://dailypost.wordpress.com

Ever have an experience that felt surreal, as though you’d been suddenly transported into the twilight zone, where time seemed to warp, perhaps slowing down or speeding up? Tell us all about it. If you haven’t had an experience in real life that you can draw from, write a fictional account of a surreal experience.

To see previous responses look at the archives or click on Daily Prompt in the category cloud on this page

Daily Prompt

Daily Prompt

The Top 10 Things You Can Make Out Of Cardboard…

Russell at theverybesttop10.com has very kindly allowed me to write another guest post for his fantastic site so here are my “Top 10 Things You Can Make Out Of Cardboard”…

Miaaaaow…purrrr….

10 – Cardboard cut out pet costumes

What a brilliant idea. Grab an old cardboard box, a few coloured marker pens and your cat can instantly be anything from an astronaut to a Zulu warrior. There is much fun to be had with this I feel and I will be creating my superhero cat costumes as soon as this post is published.

Dry clean only…

9 – Cardboard clothes

If money is tight but you still want a new outfit to wear out at the weekend then make one from cardboard. If designer labels are your thing then take a look amongst the garbage behind the shopping mall for any boxes that once contained designer clothes. Take it home, grab your scissors and get creative. A couple of words of advice – if you make a t-shirt, be sure to make a pair of pants too and avoid going out in the rain.

iRetro…

7 – Cardboard boombox

If you love the 80s as much as I do then you will know how iconic the boombox is. I love my iPod just as much so it just makes perfect sense for me to combine the two in a cheap and simple manner with fantastic results.

Death by cardboard…

6 – Cardboard coffins

We all die and it’s an expensive and sad time. Why spend thousands on a coffin that’s either going to be burnt or stuck in the ground. Use a cardboard box and choose your own design. I opt for the wine casket!

It’s cheaper on the inside…

5 – Cardboard TARDIS

I’ve always wanted my very own TARDIS and if I can do it on the cheap – even better. I shall call my one the CARDIS and we will travel all through space and time.

Sweeeeet…

4 – Cardboard furniture

What better excuse for eating chocolate is there than to say you are only doing it because you need some new furniture?

Hedonism…

3 – Cardboard head speakers

Have you always wanted  to see a sculpture of your head and also hear your favourite music playing from your mouth? Well, now you can – in cardboard. What’s the first song you would play? I would play “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” by Kylie Minogue.

Carry me home…

2 – Cardboard laptop case

Cut out a laptop/tablet shaped hole in a cardboard box, attach a nice leather strap and you’ve saved the environment as well as helped those Angry Birds beat those Pigs In Space.

Simply the best…

1- A box

Useful for sooooo many things. As practical as it is stylish – the good old-fashioned cardboard box.

Nice To See You! Yes, Yes It Was…

It’s a sad fact of life that as we get older the celebrities that we grew up watching on television go to the big studio in the sky.

They die, it’s all very sad for a while with everyone paying their tributes but then we soon forget.

What if, just once, a celebrity had a chance to read a tribute, from a fan, before they passed away?

This is not intended to be a morbid post in any way as I was inspired to write it after reading an article where the celebrity himself discusses his own mortality.

The one and only Sir Bruce Forsyth

Ladies & Gentleman, I present to you:

Sir Bruce Forsyth

Bruce has had an amazing career spanning an incredible seven decades and he has accompanied me every step of the way along my journey through life from a little square box in the corner of my living room.

You could say that when I first “met” Sir Bruce he was already in the twilight years of his show biz career and was best known for being the highly entertaining host of peak time television quiz shows. However, he has many more string to his bow than that and many people tend to forget this.

Inspired by Fred Astaire, Bruce became a dancing and singing child star at the age of 14. Topping the bill at high profile theatres he then made his television debut in 1939 which eventually paved the way for him to become the compere of the world famous variety show, Sunday Night At The London Palladium.

Star: With Nat “King” Cole

Not just a star on the stage, Bruce also went on the big screen and played the part of alongside Julie Andrews in the film musical Star!

It was later on in his career that he became the host of the quiz shows. I remember watching him on Play Your Cards Right, The Price is Right and then the return of The Generation Game. The thing I love about Bruce is that the quiz part of the show was extra, it was his time spent with the contestants that was, by far, the highlight of these shows.

He can sing, he can dance, he can make people laugh. There really is no end to this all round entertainer’s list of talents and there will never be another man who can even get close to the same level as him.

He’s got catchphrases, poses, an iconic chin and Miss World as a wife. Now, didn’t he do well?

At the age of 86 he is still working. Not just working but appearing on Strictly Come Dancing prime time Saturday night television and dancing and still making us laugh just as he has always done.

Brucie Bonus: Performing at Glastonbury 2013

He’s won every award possible, been knighted by The Queen, carried the Olympic flame and appeared at Glastonbury music festival. If there’s a Brucie Bonus Bucket List then I’m really not sure what he would have on it.

So, thank you Sir Bruce – thanks for entertaining me for the past 36 years. Keep doing what you do best as long as you can.

When the sad day comes that Bruce tap dances up that stairway to heaven I’ll say to people…

“I will miss Bruce, do you know how old he was?” and they will say “Hmmm, 82? 83?” and then I shall say “Higher, higher…”

I’m sure he would appreciate that joke!

This was the article that inspired me to write this post.

I Can’t Sing, I Can’t Play, I Look Awful…

I can’t sing.

I can’t play.

I (sometimes) look awful.

I’ve never been in a band due to two out of the three reasons above.

However, these days with the internet being what it is you don’t always have to be “musically gifted” to be able to produce music.

I love writing lyrics and, in my opinion, I think some of them are quite good. I recently got in touch with an old friend on Facebook and she is, in my opinion, exceptionally gifted. She offered to put music to my lyrics and sing. When I heard the short demos she had done I was delighted to say the least. We’ve never picked this up again but I really hope we do…

Beside Me

Untitled

Nearly There

Heart Drive

Jam Shoe meets Red Cow

Now Would Be Good

This was posted in response to the Daily Prompt hosted by http://dailypost.wordpress.com

Have you ever played in a band? Tell us all about that experience of making music with friends. If you’ve never been in a band, imagine you’re forming a band with some good friends. What instrument do you play in the band and why? What sort of music will you play?

To see previous responses look at the archives or click on Daily Prompt in the category cloud on this page

Daily Prompt

Daily Prompt

And We Got Nothing To Be Guilty Of…

A guilty pleasures mix-tape, now what would I put on that?

It’s a tough choice but I will select one song from each decade, starting with the 70′s right through to the 2010′s (the Tennies?)

“A Far L’Amore Cominica Tu” by Raffaella Carra

I stumbled across this song by accident. It must have been directly after a song I constantly played and I let it play so it eventually notched up a lot of play counts in my iTunes. It soon became a most played song its own right and I very much associate it with summer holidays now. It’s just so fun!

One night, whilst watching Doctor Who, this very song suddenly appeared in this episode. I couldn’t believe it and the fact she was singing it in English just blew me away. Now, I expect everyone to join in with the dance…

“Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship

The 80′s hold so many guilty pleasure songs for me and it’s so hard to pick just one. However, this song popped up on my iPod today so I took that as a sign. It’s from one of my favourite movies of that decade – Mannequin. I’m not obsessed with mannequins but if you take a look at my post, Princess Diana then you might think I am.

“Life” by Des’ree

I shouldn’t really like this song because the lyrics are just awful. Whoever thought a lyric of the nature “I’d rather have a piece of toast than see a ghost” really needs to find a better career but it’s just so easy to listen to. “Dooo, dooo, dooo Life”

“(Is This The Way To) Amarillo” by Tony Christie & Peter Kaye

Okay, so this wasn’t originally released in the Noughties but this version was It really reminds me of a great time in my life and it just cheers me up every time I hear it. The song was re-recorded for charity, raised a lot of money and had may office workers (me included) marching around offices up and down the country – guilty as charged!

“Loved Me Back To Life” by Celine Dion

You really can’t beat a good bit of “old giraffe neck” or Celine Dion as she is more commonly known. She really knows how to belt out a tune and I know it’s probably “uncool” to like her but I’ve never really been cool anyway so I don’t care.

Now, just to summarise…

This post was part of the Twisted Tuesday mix-tape challenge hosted by http://jenkehl.com

“This week’s theme was Guilty Pleasures.”

Twisted Tuesday Mix-Tape

Twisted Tuesday Mix-Tape

You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ’til It’s Gone – Appreciate The Moment…

I stumbled across this post on Freshly Pressed and thought it was really interesting. It made me ponder…..

It made me think of my mottos in life….

“Appreciate The Moment”

I don’t think many people actually do, truly appreciate the moment they are currently in. If you stop and think for a second, how often do you look back at a time, say 10 years ago and reminisce about how good it was back then? But, when you were experiencing that time “live” you thought it was the worst time ever and constantly wished things were different.

Crown Terrace, Aberdeen

Crown Terrace, Aberdeen

Here’s an example…

I was walking to work the other day via the same route I used to walk to a different job 10 years ago. At that time I worked in a small convenience store, had to get up at 5am every day and work long hours dealing with drunks, shoplifters and generally rude customers.

I used to walk to work wishing and praying things were different.

So, forward 10 years, as I walked that very same route the other day, I was overcome by memories of that period of my life and how good it really was.

I should have enjoyed it more.

At.

The.

Time!

Now, I try to appreciate every single moment as I experience it because, however good memories are – they are so much better experienced first hand.

Every time I think of this I always hear songs in my head by Mike & The Mechanics. I’m not really sure why…


Appreciate your moments!

I love this little mouse with a scroll wheel

I love this little mouse with a scroll wheel

To add to this, I realised today that until something’s gone, we really “don’t know what we’ve got”. A very basic example that struck me today was the simple scroll wheel on a computer mouse. They’ve not always been there and today, I had to use a mouse that didn’t have one – I now know how Superman felt when he lost his powers!

“Don’t take anything for granted, no matter how trivial it may seem”

Joni Mitchell says it very well in “Big Yellow Taxi”..