Saturday Night Is Not Alright For…Television!

The good old days...

The good old days…

It’s Saturday night and I had planned a night in front of the television.

Actual, proper live television rather than catching up online etc as I don’t tend to watch much live tv these days.

After looking at the guide I think I have changed my mind. Saturday night television is terrible! Excluding Britain’s Got Talent I don’t think I will be watching live television and will stick to Netflix.

I know times have changed but can you remember “your” Saturday night television line ups? This is my memories, with a few gentle reminders from TV Listings...

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Time Lord Required: Apply Within (It’s Bigger)

Steve:

I start a new job next week, it’s not this one but it will but just as brilliant. What’s your dream job?

Originally posted on Steve Says...:

Role: Time Lord

Location: Anywhere in Time and Space

Benefits: Company TARDIS, Sonic Screwdriver and

Regeneration Potential

Time Lord Steve...

Time Lord Steve…

Gallifrey Recruitment Group’s client is a growing empire and currently seeking a Time Lord.With a strong brand presence throughout the galaxy our client is currently looking to extend their offering across time and space.

As a Time Lord you will be joining an established team who have raised their profile externally in recent years and are now enjoying increased investment from within.

This well rounded role will see you :-

  • Battle injustice while exploring time and space
  • Continuously defeat enemies such as Daleks, Cybermen and The Master
  • Work with multiple companions to maintain a sense of “moral duty”

In a role anticipated to grow rapidly you will work closely with all lifeforms on a variety of projects quickly becoming a valued member of history.

The successful applicant will have :-

  • Extensive…

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Netflix – Readers Of The Modern Day Bedtime Stories…

I used to struggle every night to drop off to sleep. I would find my brain would be working overtime when all I wanted it to do was shutdown. I would replay my day, think about tomorrow and on some occasions make up scenarios in my mind that I would want to happen in real life. It would take me hours to eventually get to sleep.

Staying up late didn’t help either as I would start to focus on what little amount of sleep I would actually get. Then, and this is the worst thing, I would forget how to fall asleep and that would just add to the pressure of trying to get to sleep.

I had no problem falling asleep in front of the tv on the sofa but when I went to bed I was wide awake again. The whole process was becoming a nightmare before I even started to dream!

The solution to this night-time dilemma happened more by accident than any ingenious plan by me and it was quite a simple one so I had no excuse for not thinking of it earlier.

Install a television in the bedroom! Eureka!

Zzzzzzz….

Now I re-watch old tv shows and movies when I go to bed. If I fall asleep during them then that’s fine because I’ve seen it before. It’s comforting to watch familiar characters, my brain isn’t concentrating on other things and sometimes I don’t even look at the tv – I just listen.

When I was a kid I would fall asleep while being read fairy tales such as Hansel & Gretel, Jack & The Beanstalk and Gulliver’s Travels. I am now doing the adult equivalent and I fall asleep to old episodes of Cheers, Malcolm In The Middle and Fawlty Towers. Thank you Netflix for now tucking me in and reading my modern bedtime stories.

What’s the solution to insomnia? It’s called install-a-telly!

This was posted in response to the Daily Prompt hosted by http://dailypost.wordpress.com

What kind of sleeper are you? Do you drop off like a stone and awaken refreshed, or do you need pitch black and silence to drift off to dream?

To see previous responses look at the archives or click on Daily Prompt in the category cloud on this page

Daily Prompt

Daily Prompt

2014 Eurovision Song Contest: Austria…

A man dressed up like a woman or a lady with a beard? Either way the song is not that great.

I doubt that it will even qualify for the final as there is just nothing special about it in my opinion.

However I must find out how the stubble is kept so perfect. Good job, that woman!

This post is part of my Eurovision Song Contest reviews. To see previous posts look at the archive or click on Eurovision Song Contest  in the category cloud on this page.

Eurovision - Put A Little Sunshine In Your Life

Eurovision – Put A Little Sunshine In Your Life

2014 Eurovision Song Contest: Armenia…

Armenia’s entry started off with nice big ballady piano chords and got me interested. The singer is quite hot too so that kept me interested. Then came some nice military style drumming and it was looking good. I was starting to lose interest and hoped that he would just explode, shouting angst ridden lyrics as that’s what I wanted by that point in the song…

Aram delivered that by going all “Earth Song” like Michael Jackson. I like this very much! Good video too…

This post is part of my Eurovision Song Contest reviews. To see previous posts look at the archive or click on Eurovision Song Contest  in the category cloud on this page.

Eurovision - Put A Little Sunshine In Your Life

Eurovision – Put A Little Sunshine In Your Life

2014 Eurovision Song Contest: Albania…

Now that all the songs have been selected for the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest I can finally listen to them all and choose my favourites.

First up is Albania and I haven’t really come across an entry from Albania that I’ve liked or remembered. I don’t think this one will be any different to be honest. It does start off really well and did show potential but all too soon I got bored, bored, bored. It looked like most of the backing singers and band were bored too as they were listening to their iPods…

This post is part of my Eurovision Song Contest reviews. To see previous posts look at the archive or click on Eurovision Song Contest  in the category cloud on this page.

Eurovision - Put A Little Sunshine In Your Life

Eurovision – Put A Little Sunshine In Your Life

1996: I ♥ The Eurovision Song Contest…

Ireland were taking a little break from hosting the contest this year as it was Norway’s turn since they won the previous year with the non-song – Nocturne. Probably the only famous person I knew at this time from Norway was Morten Harket from the 80s pop group A-Ha and surprise, surprise he’d escaped his cartoon world and was one of the hosts and opened the contest by shamelessly plugging one of his own songs. Morten’s co-host was Ingvild Bryn and she was either funny, crazy or crazy funny – either way she made me laugh.

Following a shout out to Queen Sonia – of Norway that is, the 1993’s Eurovision entrant had not suddenly became royalty (except for maybe in my eyes – love you Sonia).

I might have complained that in past years other countries had entered singers of different nationalities to them but as of 1996 I changed my mind. Why? The United Kingdom entry in 1996 was by an Australian singer called Gina G. I’m not quite sure what the “G” stood for but I expect it was G-String as the dress she wore didn’t hide her modesty very well.

The song itself almost blew the top off the power pop scale as it had beats, bounce and easy sing along words that made no sense whatsoever. The broadcasters must have just learned how to add special effects to live transmission as Gina was sometimes shown in slow motion and black and white – fancy! The two backing dancers had little “drive thru” microphones on although I’m not sure they actually sang but from now on I think that all McDonalds drive thru staff should dance like them when they give you your order. “Would you like fries to go with that, Sir?” “Ooh Ahh, Just A Little Bit!”

Sadly, Gina G did not win but was just a little bit short. It’s still one of my favourite entries and despite losing she did go on to have more hits in the UK…

Turkey had a “light bulb moment” when deciding on their entry and it was that if you want to win the Eurovision then you have to be Irish. So what did they do? They entered the Turkish version of The Corrs. The special effects guy was getting quite good by now and even managed to get two versions of the same singer showing at once. Well done that man…

“In A Women’s Heart” was the title of the entry from Malta. Never mind her heart, I’ve never seen a women with eyes so far apart. Looking in two different directions at the same time, coupled with her big baby shoes I’m quite surprised she never fell off the stage. The song wasn’t that great either and I’m not sure why it came 10th…

Croatia decided to enter the older sister of Toyah Wilcox dressed in half a bin bag. I’m not quite sure what happened to her at 0:47 but it scared the f***ing living s**t out of me. She didn’t seem to mind though and carried on doing some dubious dancing…

I’ve never really associated Austria with happiness but this song literally just had Greg dancing about the kitchen. It’s a kind of hybrid of swing, gospel, latin and ska. I guess one would call it swostika…oh and I really hope they found their goat…

I liked the Estonian entry and I still do. It starts off really sweet with the girl singing. Some might say that Oliver Reed hi-jacking the song really ruins it but I just think it adds to the performance…there’s also a new generation of sex pest playing the keyboard…

The previous year Norway won by using Irish performers and violins, this year they recruited from Scotland and put forward Nicola Sturgeon‘s nicer looking sibling and some panpipes. It almost worked – they came 2nd which is exactly where Nicola Sturgeon will come in the vote for Scotland’s independence…

Whilst watching the singer from Slovenia I kept expecting her to start vomiting while her head spun around as she did something naughty with a crucifix. I’m not sure why

Belgium decided to let Davina McCall borrow Celine Dion’s dress from the 1983 contest and made her sing about playing cards or something. You kept that one quiet Davina…

If you are a fan on the hit American sitcom Friends and the hit American cartoon Scooby Doo then you will think Christmas has come early when you see this entry from Iceland. It’s Chandler’s mum singing a song about Scooby…

Sweden, Sweden, Sweden. They never get it wrong do they? I won’t even make any funny comments about this song (although, resisting the urge to say Katy Perry’s singing Aunties is quite difficult) as it really is just a beautiful song performed brilliantly and I think it should have won…

So, Ireland had a year off collecting potatoes or something and then they won…again! Now, I like to think of Eurovision as a happy, joyous occasion but this singer and song are the epiphany of everything that gives me nightmares. You just have to Google woman in white to see what I mean. Way to go Ireland…

Until next time – think happy thoughts!

This post is part of my Eurovision Song Contest reviews. To see previous posts look at the archive or click on Eurovision Song Contest  in the category cloud on this page.

Eurovision - Put A Little Sunshine In Your Life

Eurovision – Put A Little Sunshine In Your Life