It’s Not Normal, It Doesn’t Happen To Everyone And I Am Special!

Have you ever lived your entire life accepting something, one day realising that it’s not normal and it doesn’t happen to everyone?

I recently had my day of realisation…

The human ears – apparently they are self cleansing and we should not be cleaning them out ourselves.

Bollocks – I’ve seen some very dirty ears in my time so unless the self cleanse cycle only kicks in every second year then I don’t believe this.

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Even celebrities have dirty ears, isn’t that correct Mr Zac Efron?

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I opt for the manual cleaning option. According to doctors you shouldn’t stick anything in your ear other than your elbow (try it) i.e. we really shouldn’t be putting anything inside our ears. So, why oh why do Johnsons & Johnsons still manufacture cotton buds?

Do people even use them for anything else other than putting them inside their ear and having a good old clear out? They can put as much warnings on the product as they like but – come on! Selling them as a product for “cleaning between a baby’s fingers and toes is just a workaround – surely?

Unless someone explains and actually practices another use of these then the best solution would be to remove the product altogether, right?

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Put those two points together and you can usually find me of a Sunday evening cleaning out my ears with a cotton bud…or five. Judging by the amount of wax I get out of them if I left it for the self-cleanse wash setting to start I’d be deaf within a fortnight!

I’m very careful, I make sure I don’t push it in too far, I ensure there is no risk of me falling over, objects falling on to me and that there are no cats or other persons around likely to give me a big fright resulting in me accidently stabbing my brain to death.

It’s quite satisfying too…

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This has always and will continue to work fine for me. I have forgotten to mention…I cough during this process.

Every time, without fail. Cotton bud in, cough – instantly.

I’ve never really thought too much about it. This is the norm, I thought, this must happen to everyone. But, no!

Greg and I have discussed this previously and it doesn’t happen to him. Well, maybe not everyone then, I thought and carried on. For some reason, only recently did I decide to Google it to see what caused it and to my shock I found it’s a very special condition.

It’s called Arnold’s Ear Cough Reflex. This on itself surprised me but then to discover that only 2% of the population experienced it almost floored me so imagine my amazement when that was only for people experiencing it in one ear.

It happens in both my ears! Less than 1% of the population!

I really wanted to scream “I’m special” at the top of my lungs but realised that everyone would be waiting for their self-cleansing ear cycle to kick in so they wouldn’t have heard me anyway!

Isn’t it funny how sometimes we accept something as normal and it really, actually isn’t?

I know it’s silly and I probably shouldn’t but I feel really special today after discovering this.

What about you? Do you have anything that sets you aside from the other 98% of the population? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me @SteveSays2014

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On a similar subject – check out my post on Nose Etiquette.

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